Who Cares?

Keys can Kill

2010-03-17T11:55:00.003-10:00

Perhaps the second most common complaint I receive (problems is residence is first) is about elders and driving. The scenario begins

"I don't think dad should be driving anymore. his eyesight is not so good and his reflexes are defintiely too slow. but he won't give up his car! How can I make him stop before he kills somebody or gets hurt himself?"

First off - take comfort in knowing you are not alone in your delima. While there are 95 year olds still driving and doing so quite well, chances are your Dad or Mom are not included in their number. to make matters worse, the DMV (Dept, of Motor vehicles) only requires an eye test in order to renew their driver's license for 2 years!

Driving is both a skill and a privilidge. Individuals who have been excellent drivers all their lives can lose the cognitive and physical functions that enabled them. And when they do not recognize their limitations or refuse to acknowledge them, they become a danger to everyone else on the road. An example of just unrealistic they can is with Mr. X.

Mr. X was 87 years old when his son called me asking for help. Dad was still driving but could not see the curb when parked and kept climbing onto the sidewalk. He frequently got lost just going to the store 2 blocks away and recently a policeman had stopped him thinking he was drunk! Mr. X's son told his dad "you are going to end up hitting someone, maybe hurting them or killing them!" In a very uncharateristic response his Dad said "that's what I have insurance for!"

For a more in-depth look at how to handle the cars and keys problem click here. Below are a few fast tips that might help you right now!

1. Arrange for your loved one to have a physical therapist test his ability to drive. Theoretically,

if he does not pass that test, the therapist will notify DMV who is then supposed to rescind his driver's license.

2. Dad's car can develop "mechanical" problems. Take it in for a tune up and have the mechanic create a disabling event that take a VERY long time to repair.

3. The car can get "stolen".

4. Have the insurance triple. (You pay the regular bill and create a mock bill for a much higher amount - convince dad it is not worth spending the money just to keep driving)

5. Bite the bullet and take away the keys, remove the car and refuse to budge on the issue. Dad or mom will be furious but eventually will settle back downand may even use you as an example of "my kid really watches out for me" to their friends.

You have a moral responsibility to society-at-large that trumps your desire to have calm, peaceful relations with your loved ones. Just like your parents said when you were growing up "sometimes doing the right thing is hard.

Is Mom losing it?

2009-12-17T11:38:00.006-10:00

Detecting Financial Incapacity in Seniors
Recently the SEC, NASAA and FINRA published a report to help advise financial professionals in detecting signs of diminished capacity among older investors.
Some of the "red" flags they noted are

 The Senior seems unable to process simple concepts
 The Senior appears to have memory loss
 The Senior appears to have difficulty speaking or communicating
 The Senior appears to be unable to appreciate the consequences of decisions
 The Senior makes decisions that are inconsistent with his or her current long-term goals or commitments
 The Senior’s behavior is erratic
 The Senior refuses to follow appropriate financial advice
 The Senior appears to be confused about missing funds when reviews suggest there have been no unauthorized money movements at all.
 The Senior is unaware of, or does not understand recently completed financial or legal transactions
 The Senior appears to be disoriented with surroundings or social setting
 The Senior appears uncharacteristically unkempt or forgetful.
 The Senior appears frightened or nervous around family or friends who are helping with finances.

Reacting to these signs requires compassion and a complete understanding of the financial, social and physical environment surrounding the Senior. Seniors with no responsible family support should be referred to an appropriate government agency such as Adult Protective Service or the Office of Public Guardian. Seniors with responsible family support need for you to discuss your observations with the responsible family member and recommend steps to take in protecting the financial well-being of the Senior. Always carefully document your observations and retain that information to protect yourself and your practice.

Very often a Senior will turn a trusted person, in an attempt to preserve their financial independence and personal dignity. You must be able to observe compassionately but with wisdom and always try to do what is right for the Senior. In many cases it is best to involve the professional services of a Daily Money Manager - like those provided by The Caregiver Foundation of America.

For more information on protecting the financial lives of Seniors contact

The Caregiver Foundation

at thecaregiverfoundation@yahoo.com or telephone 808-625-3782
The Caregiver
Foundation of America - a 501(c)3 charitable organization helping you help those you love.
Helping you help those you love

Who are Caregivers?

2009-01-03T12:02:00.005-10:00

Caregivers come in all shapes and sizes - Friends helping friends who are aging or disabled. Spouses providing care as their partner moves from capable to needing assistance with routine activities. Kids helping their parents or siblings. Caregiving is the task of providing for the phsyical and emotional needs of an individual who can no longer perform daily tasks independenly.

Do you help with rides to the doctor, shopping, meals, bill paying, bathing, grooming, dressing, walking or transferring to a wheelchair, housekeeping, managing medications, or arranging services to be provided by others? If you provide services like these, whether or not you live with the person you are helping, you are a caregiver.

Whatever your role in caregiving, you are among the thousands of dedicated and concerned individuals who carry our loved ones forward in their lives and help them maintain as much quality of life as possible. And it is not an easy job.

This blog is presented by The Caregiver Foundation a non-profit organization that supports Caergivers with educational resources, counseling, bill paying services, home restoration services and support groups.

I am encouraging you to submit your questions, stories, comments - anything that you need help with or have that you think would help other caregivers. And pass this blog along to everyone you know involved with caregiving!

Thanks for caring,

Gary